The Email Passover

For whatever reason, every morning as I am trudging towards the shower, I grab my phone from my nightstand and check my email.  Its usually too early for my work email to start buzzing, but, my personal email account is going off like a Vegas slot machine.  I get email messages from Groupon, Living Social, some online flower shop, and various makeup companies.  I usually also have a few emails from friends nested in there from 1am, 2am, etc.  This really makes me think that I have the most insomniac friends ever, but, that's beside the point.  I rarely receive emails to find out what's up, how I'm doing, etc, because we all pretty much cover those basics on Facebook, Twitter, or whatever social media site we're into that day.

As I started deleting these groups of messages I received this morning, in particular, I began to realize how many chain email "forwards" I receive from random acquaintences that have my email address in their "go-to email forwarding group".  For whatever reason, I became really annoyed.  Now, the phenomenal woman ones and the ones with prayers in them are nice to receive, but do I really have to forward to 10 people?  The threats are just getting too much for me.  I received a nice prayer yesterday, for instance, and at the end it said, "forward to 5 people for God to bless you".  WOAH!  Now GOD is monitoring my emails?  I thought He'd be too busy for that.  I mean, I'd hope He is.  There is a lot going on in the world right now!  I just hope He's not planning to punish me for not sending it on to at least 5 people.  I would think that three people would suffice, but I'll have to let you all know.  I started thinking about how we could be punished and then I thought, "Oh No!  Pretty soon we'll get the emails that if we don't forward to 15 people, God will take your first born.  It's going to be the EMAIL PASSOVER!  Quick!  Sacrifice something!"  Sounds dumb, doesn't it?

I did encounter a string of bad luck a few months ago, but I'm not sure which email I didn't forward to get that!

I think I was pushed over the edge by the forward I received this morning.  The threat was ludicrous--if I didn't forward this e-genie, my mere presence would adversely affect a group of those closest to me.  It was one of those "see what happens when you forward--it works, I promise.." deals.  For what its worth, I'm still waiting for my check from Bill Gates.

By the way, be sure to pass this on to at least 15 people or a mad two-headed goat will hunt you down at sunset.  (I'm just kidding--calm down!)

:) LAH